At the end of November I sent a message to elder's father to see where his job might be taking him in the coming weeks. He has a job in which he travels across the united states accomplishing multi-million dollar deals in construction. He often posts photos of the places he has traveled, some of the sights he sees, and even some of the food he is brave enough to eat!
He informed me that he wasn't planning on doing much traveling as they were very busy making arrangements for Elder to attend a university and they hoped to have those arrangements in time for Elder to begin classses in January. I was pleased to hear that life was apparently moving forward for Elder and his family. Since the child welfare investigation involving Elder had closed, and plans were being made for college, I assumed all was well. Boy was I ever wrong!
Following a lunch break that day, I returned to my desk and found two emails from Elder and a message from his father. I opened them in order. #1 from Elder again expressed anger toward me and expressed surprise that I could sleep at night after ruining his life. He stated that he was just getting his life together, looking forward to some happiness by going to school and getting married next summer. But I had to ruin it for him again. #2 from Elder stated he should not have emailed me previously, and that this was the last time I would hear from him--thanks for ruining my life basically. #3 Elder's father asked me to call at (---) he needed to speak to me.
Knowing that Elder had used his father's, as well as his mother's, facebook messaging to contact me before, I wasn't sure the phone call was a legitimate request. I sent Elder's father an email at his work asking for verification that he wanted me to call. Then I called the number and left a message. Indeed, the father wanted to speak to me.
Elder's father stated that a detective had called from Utah to speak with Elder. Knowing that Elder tends to misinterpret my emails, the father felt it would be better to speak to me directly. He asked questions regarding the child welfare investigation which were not only confidential but protected information; which I could not discuss with him. He wanted to know what the accusation was, who made the referral and what this meant. I could not give him the information he was seeking due to confidentiality, even though I so desperately wanted to speak openly. Elder's father told me that elder believes I am behind everything because of something I had posted on my blog. ( I later reviewed my posts and could see how he would think that)
I asked the father if this was the first time law enforcement had talked to Elder. The father stated he thought so, but couldn't be sure. He stated that his son is not very open with him. I asked if he had a friend, or a bishop in whom Elder might confide and the father wasn't sure. I know everyone parents differently, but this was just foreign to me--I always enjoyed talking with my mom and my daughters tell me a lot of secrets, which remain secret if requested. I felt really bad that I could not speak freely. The father then received another phone call and needed to end our conversation.
The next day, I sent the Elder's father a message and apologized for being so evasive. I provided an explanation of how a child welfare investigation works in Utah and the reasons a child welfare investigation might be turned over to law enforcement. I hoped it would help. I encourage the father to have a private father-son conversation due to the sensitive nature of the subject and hoped something good would come of it. I do not know what happened beyond that.
I discovered that there was enough evidence to open a law enforcement investigation which is why the detective called the Elder. I also discovered the officer who interviewed Tori at school, did so after the child welfare investigation had been closed. So Tori's interview was part of the law enforcement investigation. I later heard that an arrest warrant was going to be asked for.
A couple of days after this, Tori received a kind apology from a mutual friend of her and Elder. The friend stated that she had been led to believe certain things about Tori and now knew they were not true. Right after Christmas, this mutual friend spent an entire afternoon with Tori. Both learned how they had been impacted by Elder, but the important part for me was that Tori was able to share her experience with someone who knew Elder personally, and could make comments when certain items or statements of the Elder were shared. It was such a hard holiday for Tori and she found it difficult to let go of the dream she saw occurring in her future with this Elder. After visiting with the mutual friend, Tori was able to see the pattern and recommitted herself to move on.
I still do not know what has happened. The friend identified that Elder will receive counseling, have to deal with court, and pay a fine. But this is only heresay and since Elder's father has not responded to any of my messages, I do not know for sure. I am saddened that I have been shut down again. The only thing I can do is continue to send occassional messages and let the father know that I am still concerned for his family.
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