Attempts to fall asleep following a long day inside child welfare records can often be challenging. I find myself singing primary songs or pop songs that worm themselves into memory. Last night I was reflecting on the philosophy of your areas of influence vs. areas of control as described by Steven R Covey. I recalled seeing an interaction between a mom and dad and their toddler.
Every child goes through their picky eating period just like every teen goes through their identity crisis. We know that children grow in spurts and it is common sense that their appetites reflect this. I read that a Tablespoon for every year of age is a good gauge for serving size, but I don't know if that is still true. Anyway, - I digress. What I observed was the toddler's plate prepared for the child and then the child given a cup with a drink in it. After the toddler spent some time slurping her drink through a straw, dad took the cup and encouraged his toddler to eat what was on the plate. But the child didn't want to eat, she wanted the juice back. So dad removed the drink as an option and encouraged the toddler again to take a bite of "food" and then she could have the drink back.
Remember, I am trying to fall asleep and this is going through my mind. I thought about how enticing the plate of food actually looked. It was pretty bland. Nothing compared to the colorful salads my hubby creates!! But the sugar in the juice was in a colorful cup. I imagined a plateful of orange carrots, red peppers, green peas, and berry colored cranberries - and wondered if a study had ever been done to see if children are more likely to eat colorful vegetables over the plate of frenchfries. Then I realized that sometimes it is the familiar and simple that draw us. What if the colorful vegetables had ranch dip? Something to dip into, like the french-fry is dipped into ketchup? Perhaps this would make that study more accurate in the findings. Again I digress - but this is how I fall asleep.
Then, in my mind I hear Heavenly Father's presentation to Adam and Eve of the Garden. Of all the trees thou may freely eat, but of THAT tree, thou shalt not eat because it rots your teeth. Nevertheless, thou may choose for thyself, but remember....
Oh Remember!! How often we are called to remember. Heavenly Father did not remove the tree as a consequence of Adam and Eve's choice but allowed the natural consequence to occur - the rotting of their teeth so to speak. As a father, the dad did not remove the cup from the table, but put a protective measure in place by requesting that the toddler take a bite of something else first. But remember, thou may choose for thyself.
Even in the Garden, Eve did not approach the tree but was deceived into eating from the tree. I consider the role I play or my area of influence. I deceive grandchildren by hiding spinach in a smoothy. Without their understanding before hand, I give my grandchildren a good dose of iron and then tell them it is a mango smoothy!!
So...pulling the train of thought back to areas of influence and areas of control. It was easy to take control of the situation with the toddler by removing the option of having juice over the nourishment placed before the child. It would have prevented the toddler from getting into a bad eating habit, possibly even prevent tooth decay. But is this an area Heavenly Father would have interfered with and insisted Father knows best? As parents we continue to maintain an area of influence, but need to be cautious with taking control. Even something that seems so trivial on a daily basis will influence eternity.
There really is no correct way to respond to a toddler who is going through the picky eating stage of development. I don't think the dad was wrong for insisting the child take a bite of food. I just recognized that the circumstance and timing did not require control from the dad. Even so, I still catch myself thinking I need to control aspects of the world around me and need to remember that I don't. The patience exhibited by a Loving Father in Heaven astounds me at night when I am trying to put the world away.
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